Sometimes, as a mother, I wonder if I did the right thing with my children. I see some of the things they are doing now as adults and I think I might have gone wrong somewhere and worry about it. One daughter has decided she is not a christian but she is spiritual. "What exactly does that mean?" I asked her. Well, it means she believes in a higher being but she is not sure exactly what. That bothers me. Here is a bright young woman with a lovely husband and a lovely baby that God has given her and she "is not sure" about His existence. She knows there is something.
She also tells me she is lonely where she lives since she is the new one there and it is hard to get to know people. She tells me of other problems too and I keep telling her that if she found a good church and had a pastor and a church family to rely on, her life would be so much simpler.
My other daughter has a problem with drugs and alcohol. She is trying to change and I am grateful for that but she too needs to find a church to get involved in.
We were not perfect as parents. I think we could have done differently but we did pray with them and for them. We took them to church so they could hear of God's unending love but they did not like the restrictions put upon them by the christian faith so chose to stray away from it.
I am often reminded of how David loved Solomon. He wanted Solomon to know about God's ways.He wanted his son to succeed and the only way he could do that was by following God. (1Kings 2:3) 3And keep the charge of the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, to keep his statutes, and his commandments, and his judgments, and his testimonies, as it is written in the law of Moses, that thou mayest prosper in all that thou doest, and whithersoever thou turnest thyself:
We tried hard to instill that in our children's lives but now that they are adults, all we can do is pray they will remember what we taught them and turn to God before it is too late. I worry but I still feel God is in charge and I just lay it at his feet.
Garnet, so many parents incluing myself have second thoughts on how we raised our children. We wanted them to have more than we had, we wanted them to succeed and have better lives and we wanted them more than anything to know God and his word. I know how we prayed with our children before meals, before bed, on car drives and we always took them to church. When they became adults they choose their own way, made their own decisions. None were made with how they were brought up. Their choices are their own now, and it is up to them to do the right thing, and you are right, all we can do is pray they find their way to God. Don't be so hard on yourself, myself as well as my friends are going through exactly what you are.....Hopefully the lessons we taught them will kick it sooner rather than later....Hugs
ReplyDeleteI think many parents want to kick themselves and like you say, we did the best we could and it is all up to them now. Thank you very much for that kind post.
ReplyDeleteNobody raises their children perfectly (David CERTAINLY didn't) and they make decisions sometimes that baffle us. I think the most healing thing is keeping the lines of communication open and being willing to listen. They experienced your home from the perspective of children while you looked at it from the years and wisdom of an adult. Those are often vastly differing perspectives. But they are still responsible for their own decisions as adults.
ReplyDeleteIf you are open to hearing what their experiences were like to them, it can be very helpful. We had a home life and church that was damaging from our perspective but not from my mothers. I had to relearn who God was, through his Word. I'm glad he never gave up on me.
I've caught myself saying to my own kids, "I did the best I could," and then having to stop and say, "No, I didn't. Sometimes I did. Others times I gave in to the human condition. Nobody does his best all the time. If we did, we wouldn't need a Savior."
I do want to tell you that a dear, dear friend who grew up in the same church also came to believe in a "higher power" and not in Christ. But years, prayers, and God's guidance have brought her into a full and rich relationship with Him.
Your home may have been near perfect and this is NOT intended as any judgment on that fact. What it is intended to be is a hope that things can change drastically when hearts are open to each other and preaching is at a minimum. Oh, I'm gonna go look in the mirror right now and SAY that to MYSELF!!
Yes I agree with Bernie. All I can add is that they are their own person. No matter how they were raised. I think once we accept that fact it makes things easier for everyone. I'm not saying that I would ever give up hope or stop praying for them . But less worry and stress is always good for both sides.
ReplyDeleteLove Di
The quilt picture is beautiful. I'm sorry about your children. All we can do for our adult children is to talk with them and pray for them. Most of us do the best we can. That's all we can do. I really like your blog. I will visit again. Doylene
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by doylene. *s*
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